I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
