With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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