That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
