yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
