fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
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He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
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If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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