Texts From Last Night

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  (226): View more from Ontario

  can you blame him?

  (519): View more from Ontario

  i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT

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  (226): can you blame him? (519): i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT http://tfl.nu/oyzm
  Replies (46) Good night (1626) Bad night (6719)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."

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  (248): Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching." http://tfl.nu/eoit
  Replies (59) Good night (1067) Bad night (3270)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.

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  (860): i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser. http://tfl.nu/vxnr
  Replies (27) Good night (4166) Bad night (1212)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later

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  (715): We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later http://tfl.nu/4xtv
  Replies (11) Good night (5057) Bad night (1149)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?

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  (408): Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut? http://tfl.nu/riq0
  Replies (39) Good night (1329) Bad night (4507)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You know i think she's just using me for sex

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  I hate you.

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  (608): You know i think she's just using me for sex (1-608): I hate you. http://tfl.nu/pxkn
  Replies (13) Good night (5580) Bad night (1428)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.

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  (574): If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time. http://tfl.nu/3esg
  Replies (3) Good night (2089) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  She swung at the pinata with crutches

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  (440): She swung at the pinata with crutches http://tfl.nu/dkgf
  Replies (4) Good night (1850) Bad night (1326)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.

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  (360): Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites. http://tfl.nu/6ydr
  Replies (3) Good night (1115) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.

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  (914): If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run. http://tfl.nu/cpd8
  Replies (2) Good night (1540) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.

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  (519): We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way. http://tfl.nu/bqx1
  Replies (4) Good night (1674) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?

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  (816): Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere? http://tfl.nu/bbd7
  Replies (3) Good night (938) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"

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  (415): I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!" http://tfl.nu/tw69
  Replies (1) Good night (1000) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water

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  (614): You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water http://tfl.nu/21tc
  Replies (1) Good night (1191) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.

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  (707): He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible. http://tfl.nu/0sea
  Replies (2) Good night (425) Bad night (155)

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