you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Randomize
