Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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