Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole

  (425): View more from Washington

  There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian

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  (206): I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole (425): There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian http://tfl.nu/pttl
  Replies (98) Good night (2487) Bad night (23926)
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  (415): View more from California

  She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.

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  (415): She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver. http://tfl.nu/1xbw
  Replies (39) Good night (802) Bad night (4369)
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  (212): View more from New York

  ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?

  (1-212): View more from New York

  this is Aaron, hi

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  (212): ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud? (1-212): this is Aaron, hi http://tfl.nu/ackd
  Replies (48) Good night (20612) Bad night (2214)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.

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  (252): This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero. http://tfl.nu/82jq
  Replies (16) Good night (7267) Bad night (963)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  can I come stay the night

  (217): View more from Illinois

  yeah, but no sex tonight

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'll stay home

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  (810): can I come stay the night (217): yeah, but no sex tonight (810): I'll stay home http://tfl.nu/tu8g
  Replies (34) Good night (2294) Bad night (8081)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday

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  (312): Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday http://tfl.nu/xsly
  Replies (11) Good night (3866) Bad night (1002)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?

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  (508): its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right? http://tfl.nu/koz9
  Replies (6) Good night (1916) Bad night (562)
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  (516): View more from New York

  drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me

  (516): View more from New York

  he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york

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  (516): drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me (516): he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york http://tfl.nu/5sdf
  Replies (3) Good night (2197) Bad night (729)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.

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  (314): I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume. http://tfl.nu/mjn1
  Replies (11) Good night (1465) Bad night (522)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.

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  (613): Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again. http://tfl.nu/4a7s
  Replies (7) Good night (334) Bad night (1286)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.

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  (678): So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch. http://tfl.nu/2vud
  Replies (2) Good night (797) Bad night (268)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob

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  (781): My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob http://tfl.nu/45ds
  Replies (5) Good night (937) Bad night (230)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.

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  (806): I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots. http://tfl.nu/ai8j
  Replies (0) Good night (201) Bad night (440)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities

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  (972): I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities http://tfl.nu/gj47
  Replies (1) Good night (435) Bad night (434)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.

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  (970): Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way. http://tfl.nu/gitq
  Replies (0) Good night (255) Bad night (581)

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