Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
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Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
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I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?