Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!

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  (248): Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!! http://tfl.nu/kly1
  Replies (2) Good night (1152) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me

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  (708): Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me http://tfl.nu/afk5
  Replies (2) Good night (1132) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?

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  (813): I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins? http://tfl.nu/vjtk
  Replies (11) Good night (769) Bad night (2730)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"

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  (860): I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober" http://tfl.nu/f99j
  Replies (19) Good night (1535) Bad night (3321)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.

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  (919): I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life. http://tfl.nu/1v5e
  Replies (33) Good night (1228) Bad night (3288)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....

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  (803): The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german.... http://tfl.nu/l2d8
  Replies (42) Good night (13169) Bad night (1215)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.

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  (806): You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you. http://tfl.nu/w13u
  Replies (48) Good night (2347) Bad night (3381)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?

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  (607): Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved? http://tfl.nu/p303
  Replies (20) Good night (3883) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.

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  (775): At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive. http://tfl.nu/xg7u
  Replies (4) Good night (2664) Bad night (1491)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off

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  (407): Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off http://tfl.nu/jc13
  Replies (13) Good night (998) Bad night (3928)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw

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  (608): It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw http://tfl.nu/lvr6
  Replies (10) Good night (3774) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket

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  (618): We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket http://tfl.nu/a9al
  Replies (4) Good night (1994) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war

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  (403): I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war http://tfl.nu/prlf
  Replies (2) Good night (404) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She needs sedatives and a leash

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  (717): She needs sedatives and a leash http://tfl.nu/ovk2
  Replies (7) Good night (803) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves

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  (906): hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves http://tfl.nu/z605
  Replies (1) Good night (724) Bad night (376)

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