Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
