Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen

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(514): View more from Quebec

take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(631): View more from New York

I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.

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(707): View more from California

I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.

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