Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
