Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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