Got a toothbrush?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We're too hungover to prance.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
