Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
