I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
