it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
