I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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