Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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