i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize