I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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