Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Say something about gay babies.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
