You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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