where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
