dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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