I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
