Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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