North Korea, Best Korea!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
