Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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