You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
