I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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