those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
