Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
