The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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