Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i will never coherently bang her
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just pee around me
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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