Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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