Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
