I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
