I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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