why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
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Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
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ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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