It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I have aggressive nipples.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
