don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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