Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
