I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
