That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
