i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
