I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
