And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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