This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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