It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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