Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I am naked and annoyed.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
