Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
