I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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