When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
