On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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