dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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