She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
