I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
