It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
