We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
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