dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
two words: eviction party
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
