I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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