I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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