My sheets look like a crime scene.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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