dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
