and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
