do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.