plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
